Good news!

I'm getting my op! And it's the superdeluxe option Ive been hoping for.

Burwood Hospital have accepted the referral. Took a while 'cause they have to allow for the start of the ski/snoboard season (!) but they're 90% sure they have room.

I'll be spending my uni hols in the spinal unit (yes I know it's not exactly Club Med but hey…).

Timing is perfect – I can work thru to the end of term. Mum & I fly down to Christchurch 4 July. That will be a bit of an ordeal but they think a commercial flight will be OK. Get settled & re-assessed on Monday.

Assuming no miracle cure I should have an op on 6 July. This is hopefully just screw(s) thru my C2 & a bone graft taken from my hip, and then I get 2 weeks rehab etc. at Burwood.

They have a flat booked 4 Mum so she can stay all thru.

It's scary so it's really good that spine experts are doing it. Risks of going wrong are low but if it really did I would lose arms, legs and breathing. I could have a good life and earn a living etc. like that –lots do – but let's not go there...

Homer gets a halo brace

Well not really, but it sort of looks like one…

Thanks to Julian for sending me the Simpsons "Jaws Wired Shut" episode. Homer breaks his jaw (indirectly as result of a Gay Pride parade) and has to wear this halo-ish frame.

I got a big lol at the patient info manual Doc Hibbert gives Homer : "So, Your Life is Ruined". Good title… mine was just called "Your Halo Brace" or something.

In the brace Homer has to slow down and shut up and think for once so he becomes a better person. Did it work on me? Ask me mates. Great theory but I don’t know if it works in real life. All I got was sad and mean.

Oh well about 3 weeks to go. Maybe I will get saintly yet :D

2 month exam - the results are in

Today I had my major 2-month fracture/neuro review and my halo brace is still 100% attached Im sorry to say.

An exhausting day and I guess you all want a progress report.

First, I need to explain what I understand about my injury.

Haven't blogged about the details before, partly out of denial and also 'cause I only about 80% understand it all. I've studied the scans etc, and I still can't quite get my head around (pun intended lol) about how they all fit together or everything the docs see in them.

A tour of my vertebrae:

My C1 / axis bone>> When I hit my head I shattered the bone at the base of my skull into 3 pieces. This was serious but not a disaster apparently as there's plenty of room for the spinal cord thru this bone.

My C2 / axilla bone>> This fits into the C1 with a bony thing at the top they call the dens. I've totally broken this off, this is a 'Dens Type 2' fracture. It also extends into the main vertebra so that's counted as a 'Type 3' fracture as well. [correction posted 14/5/10].

I also ruptured the transverse ligament which holds my neck together.

The total result is there was little holding my head on, which at some point caused damage or a bleed in my spinal cord, affecting my RHS.

The results:

ORTHO- A bit disappointing.

1. No hope of getting out of the halo brace at 9 weeks. I will need at least the full 12 weeks

2. Clinical signs of bone growth between the three C1 frx.

3. Maybe bone growth at C2 but they're unsure about full bony union on time

4. My transverse ligament is apparently at the limit of what can heal naturally.

5. Increasing chance I'll need an op - maybe to repair the ligament and put a bone graft and a screw in my C2.

6. Zilch chance of going straight from the halo to freedom - I'll need to wear a brace for ??weeks.

7. C1 C2 provides a lot of neck movement so I will prolly have lifelong stiff neck to some extent whether I need the op or not.

NEURO - Better news!

I still have Brown-Sequard right side impairment but neuro doc says there's been improvement. Potential for maybe 80% or even 90% of full function.

1. My R hand is better for exercise and hand therapy. Measurably better grip and sensation!

2. Ditto my foot - more natural gait he says.

Obviously I'm disappointed at the prospect of more pain and disability to come maybe but I'm not discouraged!

I've made good progress already with lots more to come. I never expected this to be easy.

It's not an experience Ive always handled well but I'm aiming to be the best I can over the next recovery stage. Thanks for your love and support everyone...

My blog, 1 month on...

Exactly 1 month ago …umm plus 2 days actually (sorry)… I wrote my first entry on this halo brace blog.

Someone on the survivors’ page said “you grow up fast in a halo” and that’s sure true.
I’ve gone from traction in hospital (see the pic for my hospital view -widescreen it wasn't) to ridiculous optimism in my early days out, [click 4 link] to the black depths.

Hopefully I’m more grounded now. Thanks to everyone who led me back.

Friends
I’ve made some great new friends but sure tested some of my oldest and bestest friendships.
I’ve already talked to most of you but if I haven’t I’ll just say that frustrated and angry people in pain [OK – me!] often do and say terrible things = “Misery loves company”.

Luck
I’m lucky to have you all and I’m especially lucky to be walking (but see my top 10 most-overworked phrases).
Lady Luck’s tricky tho : if the impact had been 0.5mm different I could be typing this with a mouth-stick. On the other hand, if my particular Trailer of Doom had been 0.5m further over then none of this might have happened.

Permanent?
I’ve tried to tell everyone personally but I’ll say here as well: I been diagnosed with Brown-Sequard paralysis: I continue to have neuro “deficits” affecting my right arm and leg and it’s possible I’ll have some sort of permanent impairment. If there’s anything definite you’ll read it here first.
Two months to go and I’m told I’m over the worst of the Halo
Watch this space –it’s going to be interesting!

Today's my 1 month anniversary

9 March 16:45 apprx>>

a keen but dumb young architecture student was biking down a steep hill and looking at a new building site. He saw the pothole & the spilled gravel but not the badly parked grey trailer. You know the rest…

My halo hero

Pic NOT ME – see below.

Heres a pic of Rudi Wulf - a hero of mine & great recovery example.

He's a thoroughly nice guy & went from having a broken neck in the same place as me at my age to being an All Black [international NZ football gods, if you need a translation] and 2009 Blues Player of the Year.

A link to a story about him:

http://tvnz.co.nz/rugby-news/rudi-wulf-fom-heartache-all-black-glory-2766835

TVNZ interview: Rudi Wulf: Heartache to All Black glory

"As an up-and-coming 20-year-old in 2005, Wulf broke his neck in a horror accident after diving into the shallow end of a pool. In the weeks and months following he was tormented by the notion that he might never step onto a rugby field again…

Time to get out of the LaZBoy

I lost the entire last week, first in hospital & then all Easter zonked in the LazyBoy. Trapped in dreams & nightmares thanks to meds and too much weed. I don’t ever want to do that again

I know other people's dreams are boring but this one was so shattering I need to share it:

I woke up to find the docs telling me that they couldn’t save ma neck and they'd had to amputate my body from C2 down (dream logic! – I was breathing etc.). They said Id be OK - theyd put a handle on my halo so people could carry me around.

Horrible!!!

My check-up this morning was better – I got the OK to restart a restricted life.

I still have the halo brace and I still have to use the walking cane (which is good – it makes stairs etc. easier) and the collar (ditto – it takes some of the pressure feeling off my head I think). [pic: my caregiver showing my collar "This wont hurt much"]

Home detention

Disaster!

After my big check-up Tuesday ourtime I went 2 bed early and woke up early Weds morning. Head neck back arms shoulders all had red hot knives thru them!

A big shout-out to my poor flatmates who rescued me. They didn’t know what 2 do so called an ambulance.

Hospital all Wednesday on a hard bed while all the docs poked me n argued about treatment options – mostly horrible. They brought me home this (Thursday) afternoon. So sore :( but limbs all working OK :)

Result: I don't think docs know, they say it was reaction to all the resetting on Tues & everything still looks OK.

They've tightened da vest even TIGHTER and I have to wear a Philadelphia Collar *as well as* the halo as my spine may be "snaking" in the halo. So I've got the worst of both worlds – cant move cant talk cant chew!

Doc says Ive been doing too much too soon so have 2 hav total rest.

I've got home detention! Not allowed out all Easter holiday (Fri,S,S,Mon and return for another check on Tuesday 6th.) Scared and sore – has anyone experienced anything like this? I thought it'd be all OK once I was in da Halo + all I had 2 do was serve my time.

Happy Easter holiday 2 everyone who has Easter (if ya see what I mean)

- Aden

Heaven n hell

Hi everyone

Had my first big 2-week checkup today. Got my first decent wash in 2 weeks (heaven!!!) and ma ring + head pins checked and adjusted (hell!) And the results are….

OK !

• No healing but my vertebrae look stable.
• They talked alot about my foot and especially hand numbness and tingling. Hopefully this is just early shock and will go away but we are all to monitor this closely.
• Just as a precaution, I got a walking cane Im supposed to use outside da house (not so good!)
• My pins sites r clean.
• My skin is a bit irritated but I can start wearing a tight cotton vest under the wool if I want (yay)

Im tired cause all this took till 1pm and then I had uni but Im reasonably up!!

At the market

I want to write more about my first night out H-ed last Saturday.

It has really stuck in my mind.

The Asian community were having a Night Market so we went to that first. It was totally chokka and I ended up stuck in the crowd. I was REALLY freaking out!!!!!!!! So scared I'd fall or get bumped.

Turns out the traffic jam was sort of caused by a guy in a head-controled power wheelchair trying to get through. I could see him workin the touch pads round his head tryin to get his chair past people.

Didnt see his face - the thing that really hit me was his hands: His arms were strapped into these armrest cradles with his hands out in front. His hands were beautiful – someone had arranged his fingers all evenly spaced out and his nails were perfect. Trouble is, without any life in them his hands looked like wax or plastic.

That's when it really hit me >> that could be me …

How bizarre is that? That my first day out in the Halo I'd see someone like that.

Its like karma or a warning or something.

At the sharp end…

A lot of people want to know about my Halo pins (sounds less Frankenstein than bolts). Yes I have 4 pins in = 2 on the forehead & two behind my ears [see pix, the head's mine but not da pin. Tx to John on Hate Halo's for the loan of th pic]

Yes I was awake (but pretty zonked) to have them put in. I already had a colar on so they kept that on me. Doc injected local anesthetic first then its like going to the dentist – its not exactly pain but you feel tugging and pressure like ya heads in a vice.

There's no drill: just a torque wrench -apparently it pushes the pins 2mm into the skull bone and then makes a horrible popping noise that you feel as much as hear when it's the right loading. Then they finish bolting the pins to the pin holders and the holders to the ring and youre away laughing –not.

After the first 3 or 4 days the pin sites were more uncomfortable than painful.

PIN CARE

If youre sqemish stop reading NOW >>> apparently the skin wants to grow up the pins so if I want to get them out wth less pain and scarring in June or whenever I have to push the skin away from the pins with an alcohol cotton bud. My caregiver does it for me at the moment but I'm learning to do it myself without puking.

Yes Ill always have scars - they cant say how much yet. Least of my worries!

Out of work

Mood = gutted
I went into work this morning (Monday our time) to negotiate my return to work but I'm being dropped!
My boss doesn't think I can cope with work, study and the halo and wants me to put my energy into uni. He also gave me lots of excellent reasons why they can't let me work (health and safety blah. bla…). Don't get me wrong : He's been great and we've come to a good private arrangement and holding my job open
That means my Auckland trip is off too.
Thanks everyone, I don't need to know about work or flying anymore!

This blog just got more important to me –it looks like I'll have time on my hands…

The story so far...

Here are copies of my Facebook entries about my broken neck right from my first one. This was posted the day I got home from hospital :

1. Wednesday 17 March (NZ time)

Oh crap! I broke my neck.
Last Tuesday I went over the bike handlebars on away road and landed right on my head. I've got C1 and c2 fractures – they say it's the "hangman's fracture" which sounds great (not!). I had 4 days in traction and I got a halo brace on Monday 15th Yes! 4 pins right into my skull and a plastic jacket. See the photos for my new look comin n goin.

Home from hospital now in the brace (paralysis ? my hands and feet feel weird sometimes – Docs say they'll watch this.)

If I do the full time the Doc says, this wil take me thru to at least to 14 June, and maybe July.

Definitely the worst thing Ive had to face in my life so far.

2. Later that day, Wednesday 17 March (NZ time)

Breaking my neck is a disaster for me on so many different levels; I don't know how I'm going to survive the next few months.

I wish I could hide out while I'm in the halo but I really need to keep working - I have a great role in my dream project. I know Ill have to miss the fun part – health & safety rules mean no on-site meetings for me. No way to get a hard hat on!

I'm looking for advice about halo life from all you survivors:
1,I feel so embarrassed – is it OK to walk round town like this? How much hassles will I get?
2, Does anyone know- will I be able to work? (this is Architecture office work: computer, meetings).The pain's getting less but I'm so tired and crampy.
3, Should I meet work supliers n clients or will it just be too embarrassing for all of us?
4, I guess I'm going to start to smell? Should I get my head shaved?
5, I've been living out of town and commuting by motorbike. I'll now have to take a bus to get to work and then 1 to get to college. Buses are pretty bouncy and jarring. Will I be able to ride a bus in a halo without jarring the pins?
6, I had a great visit arranged in Auckland (1 hour flight). Will I be allowed to fly alone?

3. Friday 19 March (NZ time)

Mood= looking forward to the weekend but scared sh*tless
Weve got brilliant tix for the ArtsFest closing weekend and I don't want to miss anything. But it's really the first time Ill be out in public since the accident & Im freaking out. Please say hi and Kia kaha if you see me there XXX Aden

4. Early Sat morning (NZ time)

Mood: great! Home early (12.29am) but I had a brill night out. Not too much probs with my neck.

5. Early Sunday morning (NZ time)

Mood= worried. A FOAF is a detective. He's warned me not too share too much location info. Apparently theres crim types who heavy accident victims- we're easy targets cause we're distinctive and easy to mug or intimidate for meds. I'm following his PRECAUTIONS 1. I have nothing really good, and don't think I could get it 2. I'll now only carry 1 dose ever 3. No bulk prescriptions in our flat. 4. Less personal info sorry.