Monday, September 5, 2011

The best day ever?



The first Christchurch earthquake was one year ago today.

I’m reviving my poor long-dead blog with this story, to try and preserve a time and place wiped out forever by the 2010 and 2011 earthquakes. Everything here is true (as I saw it); friends will recognise the characters but names have been changed as some people may not want to be part of my reminiscence. Almost every place I mention has since been flattened, closed or damaged so this is not a guide book nor a recommendation.


You may have trouble with my vision of Christchurch as the magic kingdom. You’d be right to suspect that mood enhancers (both prescription and illicit) added lustre, but all our memories are more or less our own creations so it’s still valid, I submit.


Perhaps the best day ever was the first Thursday of August last year, in Christchurch.


At first sight the day wouldn’t seem to have much chance of success. We were two queers on the loose in what’s perhaps New Zealand’s most conservative city. Plus, it was deep winter; I was on day leave from the Spinal Unit with my broken vertebrae newly fused, screwed and encased in a pink collar (picture) that pressed on my raw wound. Worse, my price of freedom was to agree to use a wheelchair all day.


When Richard came to collect me, the nurses had me shaved showered and dressed for a polar expedition. He had planned a day of fun and romance, despite tension between us. Torn between my restlessness and rising panic and Richard’s desperate need to protect me, our relationship wouldn't see out the year.


However, that day Christchurch was ours.


The city was literally glittering. An overnight frost had put glistening white fringes round the river and park. Christchurch modelled itself on an England that maybe never was of tea shops, garden suburbs and niceness. That morning the illusion held firm: Pretty restored Edwardian trams rattled past blocks of Victorian Gothic. Public school boys in their black and white striped blazers or 1950s-style suits hurried to Christ’s College. Handsome puntsmen in straw hats were setting up their punts on the River Avon.


Despite my chair, collar and fragile look (or probably because of it) we were treated like visiting VIPs everywhere: galleries, book shops, design shops, clothes shops… They all showered us with attention.


Many features from my childhood were still there to revisit: tea at Mona Vale, the Museum’s pioneer street with its pretend shops and plaster horse, Ballantyne’s department store, Fazzazz with its shop windows of classic old Ferraris and Bentleys …


The morning rolled on, under a perfect and cloudless blue sky.


Lunch was by turns disastrous, delicious and hilarious. We were lunching with my old school friend Simon at a famous Italian restaurant that wouldn’t survive even the first earthquake, three weeks in the future.


We made a powerful entrance; the centre of way too much attention. For once, the stares weren’t only at me. Simon is over 2 metres tall, a wonder of nature: beautifully proportioned and a natural athlete despite his enormous size. To watch him move is an unearthly experience, and one I never tired of watching. He, completely heterosexual, has always accepted my lusting looks with the same tolerant good grace he displays to everyone.


As both the maĆ®tre d’ and our waiter gave us The Eye, it was clear we’d get attentive service. As unordered amuse-bouche arrived it was clear we were in for a memorable meal.


We also realised we were trapped in mistaken identity –that Simon was my date and Richard (16 years my senior) some sort of caregiver. He could only sit and seethe as we were lavished with attention and he – who was paying – became invisible. Each fresh treat for us and indignity for Richard added to the humour. An apparently bottomless supply of wines soon overcame my orders not to drink with the result we were soon helpless with laughter and drink.


As the afternoon slipped by, our plans for walks and visits faded away, and with them my last chance to see Christchurch intact.


By three the cold was returning, by five the light was fading and it was time to decant me back into the handicap taxi, to face the nurses at the Spinal Unit and return to the routine of rehab, PE, healthy meals and recovery.


By a malevolent twist of fate that wasn’t my last experience of Christchurch, neck surgery and earthquakes but that’s another story…

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Good news!

I'm getting my op! And it's the superdeluxe option Ive been hoping for.

Burwood Hospital have accepted the referral. Took a while 'cause they have to allow for the start of the ski/snoboard season (!) but they're 90% sure they have room.

I'll be spending my uni hols in the spinal unit (yes I know it's not exactly Club Med but hey…).

Timing is perfect – I can work thru to the end of term. Mum & I fly down to Christchurch 4 July. That will be a bit of an ordeal but they think a commercial flight will be OK. Get settled & re-assessed on Monday.

Assuming no miracle cure I should have an op on 6 July. This is hopefully just screw(s) thru my C2 & a bone graft taken from my hip, and then I get 2 weeks rehab etc. at Burwood.

They have a flat booked 4 Mum so she can stay all thru.

It's scary so it's really good that spine experts are doing it. Risks of going wrong are low but if it really did I would lose arms, legs and breathing. I could have a good life and earn a living etc. like that –lots do – but let's not go there...

Monday, May 24, 2010

Homer gets a halo brace

Well not really, but it sort of looks like one…

Thanks to Julian for sending me the Simpsons "Jaws Wired Shut" episode. Homer breaks his jaw (indirectly as result of a Gay Pride parade) and has to wear this halo-ish frame.

I got a big lol at the patient info manual Doc Hibbert gives Homer : "So, Your Life is Ruined". Good title… mine was just called "Your Halo Brace" or something.

In the brace Homer has to slow down and shut up and think for once so he becomes a better person. Did it work on me? Ask me mates. Great theory but I don’t know if it works in real life. All I got was sad and mean.

Oh well about 3 weeks to go. Maybe I will get saintly yet :D

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

2 month exam - the results are in


Today I had my major 2-month fracture/neuro review and my halo brace is still 100% attached Im sorry to say.

An exhausting day and I guess you all want a progress report.

First, I need to explain what I understand about my injury.
Haven't blogged about the details before, partly out of denial and also 'cause I only about 80% understand it all. I've studied the scans etc, and I still can't quite get my head around (pun intended lol) about how they all fit together or everything the docs see in them.

A tour of my vertebrae:

My C1 / axis bone>> When I hit my head I shattered the bone at the base of my skull into 3 pieces. This was serious but not a disaster apparently as there's plenty of room for the spinal cord thru this bone.

My C2 / axilla bone>> This fits into the C1 with a bony thing at the top they call the dens. I've totally broken this off, this is a 'Dens Type 2' fracture. It also extends into the main vertebra so that's counted as a 'Type 3' fracture as well. [correction posted 14/5/10].
I also ruptured the transverse ligament which holds my neck together.

The total result is there was little holding my head on, which at some point caused damage or a bleed in my spinal cord, affecting my RHS.

The results:
ORTHO- A bit disappointing.
1. No hope of getting out of the halo brace at 9 weeks. I will need at least the full 12 weeks
2. Clinical signs of bone growth between the three C1 frx.
3. Maybe bone growth at C2 but they're unsure about full bony union on time
4. My transverse ligament is apparently at the limit of what can heal naturally.
5. Increasing chance I'll need an op - maybe to repair the ligament and put a bone graft and a screw in my C2.
6. Zilch chance of going straight from the halo to freedom - I'll need to wear a brace for ??weeks.
7. C1 C2 provides a lot of neck movement so I will prolly have lifelong stiff neck to some extent whether I need the op or not.

NEURO - Better news!
I still have Brown-Sequard right side impairment but neuro doc says there's been improvement. Potential for maybe 80% or even 90% of full function.
1. My R hand is better for exercise and hand therapy. Measurably better grip and sensation!
2. Ditto my foot - more natural gait he says.

Obviously I'm disappointed at the prospect of more pain and disability to come maybe but I'm not discouraged!

I've made good progress already with lots more to come. I never expected this to be easy.

It's not an experience Ive always handled well but I'm aiming to be the best I can over the next recovery stage. Thanks for your love and support everyone...

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

My blog, 1 month on...


Exactly 1 month ago …umm plus 2 days actually (sorry)… I wrote my first entry on this halo brace blog.

Someone on the survivors’ page said “you grow up fast in a halo” and that’s sure true.
I’ve gone from traction in hospital (see the pic for my hospital view -widescreen it wasn't) to ridiculous optimism in my early days out, [click 4 link] to the black depths.

Hopefully I’m more grounded now. Thanks to everyone who led me back.

Friends
I’ve made some great new friends but sure tested some of my oldest and bestest friendships.
I’ve already talked to most of you but if I haven’t I’ll just say that frustrated and angry people in pain [OK – me!] often do and say terrible things = “Misery loves company”.

Luck
I’m lucky to have you all and I’m especially lucky to be walking (but see my top 10 most-overworked phrases).
Lady Luck’s tricky tho : if the impact had been 0.5mm different I could be typing this with a mouth-stick. On the other hand, if my particular Trailer of Doom had been 0.5m further over then none of this might have happened.

Permanent?
I’ve tried to tell everyone personally but I’ll say here as well: I been diagnosed with Brown-Sequard paralysis: I continue to have neuro “deficits” affecting my right arm and leg and it’s possible I’ll have some sort of permanent impairment. If there’s anything definite you’ll read it here first.
Two months to go and I’m told I’m over the worst of the Halo
Watch this space –it’s going to be interesting!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Today's my 1 month anniversary


9 March 16:45 apprx>>

a keen but dumb young architecture student was biking down a steep hill and looking at a new building site. He saw the pothole & the spilled gravel but not the badly parked grey trailer. You know the rest…

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

My halo hero


Pic NOT ME – see below.

Heres a pic of Rudi Wulf - a hero of mine & great recovery example.

He's a thoroughly nice guy & went from having a broken neck in the same place as me at my age to being an All Black [international NZ football gods, if you need a translation] and 2009 Blues Player of the Year.

A link to a story about him:

http://tvnz.co.nz/rugby-news/rudi-wulf-fom-heartache-all-black-glory-2766835

TVNZ interview: Rudi Wulf: Heartache to All Black glory

"As an up-and-coming 20-year-old in 2005, Wulf broke his neck in a horror accident after diving into the shallow end of a pool. In the weeks and months following he was tormented by the notion that he might never step onto a rugby field again…