Heaven n hell

Hi everyone

Had my first big 2-week checkup today. Got my first decent wash in 2 weeks (heaven!!!) and ma ring + head pins checked and adjusted (hell!) And the results are….

OK !

• No healing but my vertebrae look stable.
• They talked alot about my foot and especially hand numbness and tingling. Hopefully this is just early shock and will go away but we are all to monitor this closely.
• Just as a precaution, I got a walking cane Im supposed to use outside da house (not so good!)
• My pins sites r clean.
• My skin is a bit irritated but I can start wearing a tight cotton vest under the wool if I want (yay)

Im tired cause all this took till 1pm and then I had uni but Im reasonably up!!

At the market

I want to write more about my first night out H-ed last Saturday.

It has really stuck in my mind.

The Asian community were having a Night Market so we went to that first. It was totally chokka and I ended up stuck in the crowd. I was REALLY freaking out!!!!!!!! So scared I'd fall or get bumped.

Turns out the traffic jam was sort of caused by a guy in a head-controled power wheelchair trying to get through. I could see him workin the touch pads round his head tryin to get his chair past people.

Didnt see his face - the thing that really hit me was his hands: His arms were strapped into these armrest cradles with his hands out in front. His hands were beautiful – someone had arranged his fingers all evenly spaced out and his nails were perfect. Trouble is, without any life in them his hands looked like wax or plastic.

That's when it really hit me >> that could be me …

How bizarre is that? That my first day out in the Halo I'd see someone like that.

Its like karma or a warning or something.

At the sharp end…

A lot of people want to know about my Halo pins (sounds less Frankenstein than bolts). Yes I have 4 pins in = 2 on the forehead & two behind my ears [see pix, the head's mine but not da pin. Tx to John on Hate Halo's for the loan of th pic]

Yes I was awake (but pretty zonked) to have them put in. I already had a colar on so they kept that on me. Doc injected local anesthetic first then its like going to the dentist – its not exactly pain but you feel tugging and pressure like ya heads in a vice.

There's no drill: just a torque wrench -apparently it pushes the pins 2mm into the skull bone and then makes a horrible popping noise that you feel as much as hear when it's the right loading. Then they finish bolting the pins to the pin holders and the holders to the ring and youre away laughing –not.

After the first 3 or 4 days the pin sites were more uncomfortable than painful.

PIN CARE

If youre sqemish stop reading NOW >>> apparently the skin wants to grow up the pins so if I want to get them out wth less pain and scarring in June or whenever I have to push the skin away from the pins with an alcohol cotton bud. My caregiver does it for me at the moment but I'm learning to do it myself without puking.

Yes Ill always have scars - they cant say how much yet. Least of my worries!

Out of work

Mood = gutted
I went into work this morning (Monday our time) to negotiate my return to work but I'm being dropped!
My boss doesn't think I can cope with work, study and the halo and wants me to put my energy into uni. He also gave me lots of excellent reasons why they can't let me work (health and safety blah. bla…). Don't get me wrong : He's been great and we've come to a good private arrangement and holding my job open
That means my Auckland trip is off too.
Thanks everyone, I don't need to know about work or flying anymore!

This blog just got more important to me –it looks like I'll have time on my hands…

The story so far...

Here are copies of my Facebook entries about my broken neck right from my first one. This was posted the day I got home from hospital :

1. Wednesday 17 March (NZ time)

Oh crap! I broke my neck.
Last Tuesday I went over the bike handlebars on away road and landed right on my head. I've got C1 and c2 fractures – they say it's the "hangman's fracture" which sounds great (not!). I had 4 days in traction and I got a halo brace on Monday 15th Yes! 4 pins right into my skull and a plastic jacket. See the photos for my new look comin n goin.

Home from hospital now in the brace (paralysis ? my hands and feet feel weird sometimes – Docs say they'll watch this.)

If I do the full time the Doc says, this wil take me thru to at least to 14 June, and maybe July.

Definitely the worst thing Ive had to face in my life so far.

2. Later that day, Wednesday 17 March (NZ time)

Breaking my neck is a disaster for me on so many different levels; I don't know how I'm going to survive the next few months.

I wish I could hide out while I'm in the halo but I really need to keep working - I have a great role in my dream project. I know Ill have to miss the fun part – health & safety rules mean no on-site meetings for me. No way to get a hard hat on!

I'm looking for advice about halo life from all you survivors:
1,I feel so embarrassed – is it OK to walk round town like this? How much hassles will I get?
2, Does anyone know- will I be able to work? (this is Architecture office work: computer, meetings).The pain's getting less but I'm so tired and crampy.
3, Should I meet work supliers n clients or will it just be too embarrassing for all of us?
4, I guess I'm going to start to smell? Should I get my head shaved?
5, I've been living out of town and commuting by motorbike. I'll now have to take a bus to get to work and then 1 to get to college. Buses are pretty bouncy and jarring. Will I be able to ride a bus in a halo without jarring the pins?
6, I had a great visit arranged in Auckland (1 hour flight). Will I be allowed to fly alone?

3. Friday 19 March (NZ time)

Mood= looking forward to the weekend but scared sh*tless
Weve got brilliant tix for the ArtsFest closing weekend and I don't want to miss anything. But it's really the first time Ill be out in public since the accident & Im freaking out. Please say hi and Kia kaha if you see me there XXX Aden

4. Early Sat morning (NZ time)

Mood: great! Home early (12.29am) but I had a brill night out. Not too much probs with my neck.

5. Early Sunday morning (NZ time)

Mood= worried. A FOAF is a detective. He's warned me not too share too much location info. Apparently theres crim types who heavy accident victims- we're easy targets cause we're distinctive and easy to mug or intimidate for meds. I'm following his PRECAUTIONS 1. I have nothing really good, and don't think I could get it 2. I'll now only carry 1 dose ever 3. No bulk prescriptions in our flat. 4. Less personal info sorry.